Recently, I began seeing one of those “natural doctors” down in funky Fayetteville. She was extremely nice and our initial visit was more like what I would imagine seeing a therapist would be like. She quizzed me about my lifestyle, asked me what I did to relieve stress (I tend to bottle stress up…so at this point I’m trying to find an activity…I’m open to suggestions), what sort of foods I typically eat (I like meats and starches), the amount of exercise I do everyday (does “none” count?), sleeping habits (I’m a night owl), etc.
Towards the end of the consultation she talked to me about taking a food sensitivity test. I agreed (I’m pretty desperate at this point) so she extracted four vials of my blood to send off to some lab in Florida. At the lab they would bombard my blood cells with different foods to see how my cells react, resulting in a spreadsheet of foods that I should avoid and safe foods to eat. Turns out, almost every food I love and enjoy are ones I should avoid…here are a few highlights:
- Chicken (probably the go-to protein in our house…I like it grilled and fried)
- Turkey (well there goes Thanksgiving)
- Fructose (high fructose corn syrup)
- Peanuts and cashews (no more Reese’s cups, PB&J’s, trail mix)
- Coffee (I’m still reeling from this as I down about 4 cups every morning)
- Potato (as in chips, fries, baked, boiled, hash browns, home fries…you name it)
- Beef (this one cuts like a knife…and it doesn’t feel right)
- Shrimp (I can name all the shrimp dishes from Forrest Gump)
- Lettuce (that’s right…I’m sensitive to salad…health conundrum?)
- And Gluten (I can’t have gluten anymore…which is in practically everything it turns out)
There were many others but there was one saving grace on the list that turned out to be “acceptable”:
- PORK (as in bacon, ham, pork loin, ribs, pulled pork, etc…I can eat em…in moderation of course)
So, along with one lonely animal protein…I can eat a lot of other vegetables and fruits…not to mention salmon which I do enjoy. It’s not entirely bad news but several days later I’m struggling to find my way in the acceptable food wilderness.